Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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