their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
