literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
