it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
