Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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