fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize