yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
