just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
