I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
