Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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