He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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