after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i drank out of a bidet.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
