I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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