lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
