So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
