my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
