Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
