pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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