she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
