I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
