Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
