as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
