there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
there is glitter all over my balls
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