I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
