He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
