i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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