You work out of a Hotel?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
