My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
