The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Barsexuality is the new black.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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