I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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