Just cropdusted the office
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
