No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
