I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
