i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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