And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you had me at cake vodka
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
