i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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