Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
