Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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