Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
