My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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