I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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