I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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