It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
