just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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