Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
