i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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