It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
