When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
