So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
