guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
