My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
