I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
